I hope I don’t get too much stick for this but I think Harry Potter is a bit shit. Granted, I’ve not read any of the books and only saw the first film, but I feel this was enough to completely shape my views on the entire franchise. Therefore I can only assume the series goes something like; Harry finds out he’s a wizard, he does some magic. An Elf that looks like an old man’s cock turns up, he does some magic. Hermione has a crush on Harry, he doesn’t even think about banging her ’cause he’s too busy doing bloody magic!!! Not how I spent my teenage years. PLUS, if he really is the chosen one, surely he’d have noticed Emma Watson go from specky twot to leggy and hot. That’s the real magic!

Hang on a minute, maybe Harry isn’t all that into girls after all, and I’m not the only one that’s noticed either. Audio recyclers Cassetteboy have caught wind of this, and by carefully and painstakingly analysing all of the films (which is more than can be said for me), they’ve managed to compile this comprehensive case on what old ‘Arry get’s up to on his days off. When I say compile, they’ve chopped the words around to make the characters say some pretty homo-erotic stuff.

OK, maybe the adolescent sorcerer  isn’t gay, but this is still another great entry into the ever growing Cassetteboy library which contains such greats as The Bloody Apprentice and CB vs Dragon’s Den.

Just watch what you do with that wand, alright Potter?!